Kicking & Screaming

From within i look, still inside, i look beyond and feeling, beyond little butterflies swing & corroding the lining of my stomach. From within i stare, breathing, still, heaving, staring outward and reflecting only through vision what eyes can see, what eyes only look like. From within i dare myself, above and under. Limitless. Boardering compulsion to combust, round & round i go halting only when i hit these corners. I feel like a pinball game, praying this machine wont accept anymore quarters. Screaming & stomping to the ground, 'how could our fore fathers not warn us'? Spirals & curls, Spirals & curls. This is the sight from my minds eye as the dome of my being is BEAT, that drum loud like a smoke signal in despair shouting from the core of the crowd 'i'm here, i have always been here'! Someone took my spot. I fell asleep maybe, this queue cant possibly be 27 years long. Back & forth, back & forth. Sing the lyrics, forcing the tune to the wrong song. The pieces to my puzzle wont fit. I squint playing in the dark. Unlimited lives, but never hitting the mark. Howling & barking, howling & barking at the sun as it rises, at the full moon shining. I keep waving goodbye at the old day as it passes, biding farewell to yesterday. Not knowing that remnants and dust still linger like a stain. Climbing & tying, shaking & crying. This is my declaration to all wrong, all things not positive. I look up to the sky, 'Oh Lord, give me peace'. As i kick away the chair from under my feet. This is my goodbye to an aged Life, an expired sadness. I shall not be defeated. I stand in the frontline of MY house, my new lease. Unwelcome are burdens. Kicking & screaming. I will not go down without having declared war! Gino Obuseng

Store Bought Souls by Gino and Laone V

Laonev: don’t judge me, u will be disappointed to find that I’m far too great to fit into your little, ill-shaped boxes were u filed off the rest of the world, nor will I bend or fold into moulds cast out of stone for u to section-up, divide and marginalize people. that no encyclopedia, dictionary or scholar will give u the right word to neatly print in that illegible hand that small minds write in for a label tag to my toe... No, this soul was not made in a sweatshop, nor was it store bought, it has no "sell by" date or shelf-life, it will not fit into a jar to sit on a shelf and collect dust. In the height of your boring life, when u Google me...

Gino: don’t touch me, yr skin will melt from the heat that my being produces as I stand still, letting the sun itself absorb from me as my mother, Nature intended, step away from me, this closeness that u so take for granted and only recognize only when u see me come up on Google searches as greatness. I am what I’ve always said I was but greater; I am what u think I am but lesser. I will become what I dream 2 become but am. don’t judge me I am the trial

laonev: don’t judge me I am the trial. your trial team came hauling in law books by the truckload, but u can't beat me, u can't beat this...I wrote all of them books. I don’t want to afford u the pleasure of being scared and afraid, crawl into that little corner that I told u was comfort and I'll get my blowtorch. I do not speak to fill your mind with dirty words, that spew forth the filth u have let corrode and corrupt your little brain. No, this is not a revolt, it’s a revolution...an evolution of myself but pay attention coz this revolution too will not be televised... there will be no podcast, or live RSS feed, it won’t b on MySpace, BlogSpot or word press, the pictures won't be on Flickr nor the video on YouTube, but they will b seared so far into your brain that all u will see in every waking moment is how I rose above u, walking over those tattered dance shoes that once danced with all over me when u ripped me apart, washed me out with bleach and hung me out to dry in the rain...it will not b on a blog with a subscription tab for u to follow my every step, but my every step will thud and resound in u as I walk away.
Long after AIDS is gone and tales of terrorist threats are the folktales of times so long gone, they’ll think it’s a lie, this soul will still ride the wave of a southern breeze, and it will not hide in the shadows

Gino: don’t judge me, modern tech has u confusing my lingo, the language of my artistry has yr mind in limbo. harassing the very being of yr disease, the incurable ignorance u have crawling in yr machine. U r trained, not well, but trained 2 receive information and not learn, I pity u. this is not a movie and not all gold belongs to a fool. you do not faze me, yr little tantrum will end long before u realize u march alone, the band will desert u on stage, yr mic will switch off and electrocute u. I wish u no death, don’t get me wrong. I get these lines from the audience u once had digging yr lame ass song. A song that u sing at people, u gaddamn biter... I should shoot u down - hire me a sniper. DO NOT JUDGE ME, no one will believe you. I have perfected the art of illusion, I was birth 2 only bring to fools confusion

Laonev: and you are my star pupil, you have swallowed whatever I threw at your face, telling u was gold, when all it ever was dog poop in old Farerro Roche wrappers. You howl that thing u call a song and I realize that empty vessels do make the loudest noises. But this is not a concert or a contest; it’s an education, a correction of your misguided beliefs and feign understanding. A humbling of that over stroked ego that u got when u held the teller at gunpoint in the middle of a clearance sale at a rundown 7eleven

Gino: go ahead, judge me...I dare u. I want to hear yr sorry excuses of trash talk that u learnt via urban dictionary. Say something try yr best to make people believe that this golden skin aint better than Burberry. Open yr mouth nigga, spill the beans of how I made yr life a living hell leave out the fact that I made all yr dreams come true. LOUDER I can’t hear u, chicken shit now like u weren’t moaning baby yr the best, candlelit, bump n grind soundtrack setting the mood. Yr weak, retreating to a corner with yr tail between yr legs, back the fuck up, put that white flag down and don’t ever let me catch u talking shit bout me. Don’t judge me


Gino Obuseng

Soul Meet

Inspired and dedicated to Musa Mhlasi, response to his 'Are you My Soul Mate?


This peculiar manifestation of a being that inspires, excites, responding to every word, every beat and has me a wonder.
Unprepared for the truth and energy we express so solemnly, believing in its intensity suppressed. Unfazed and unafraid.
You be my lightning I be your thunder.

From dark to dawn we dance on two different floors across our worlds,
Holding still in this dizziness as my head swirls.
I am mesmerized by the idea of you,
Like a disco ball you hang above my head, thoughts of what u do.
My dreams stay safe, unimposing, unaware,
Of our fantasies that in word we have shared, soul to soul as we stare.
As every syllable and comma is as intense as the last dare.

However so as long as you ponder,
Rupturing your mind with this wonder,

When the music stops atop of a hill at dawn we watch as our souls mate,
The one that saved, that enticed these words trapped behind a locked gate.
This response is neither destiny nor fate.

Even if on stone it has never been set,
Blind to each others being, our souls have already met.

Gino Obuseng

A Letter Of Apology To My Soul

I put you through a lot
I shook you, I tested you
I even stood by while you choked, leaned on the door while you got robbed
I let you lay on a cold floor, bruised
I cut off all the water while u danced around, on fire
I ignored yr cries; I held my breath and thought it all a dream

But this was all after I swung you around flaunting you, thinking you invincible and laying you on the table like a pack of smokes for everyone to bum off.

This is all before the hurts came in, I started disbelieving in you, and how dare I not trust you?

This happens when i realized I must stop, drop and roll, instead of running through this field of thorns disguised as roses.

I put you through a lot
I lost you, I found you
I even put you through a never ending maze just to have a laugh
I let you lay your head in hell, exhausted
I lied about the weather and let you go off in the cold.
I left out all the snakes in the stories I told

But this was way before I realized how strong you were, this was when I put all the tests of the world that I got on you. This was when I forgot we were in this together.
This was way after I had ever thought to alternate between us. This was when I lost my mind. This was after my tank E light lit.


At this time, as I stand before this mirror and after stripping all the bullshit away.
After sweeping the ash away, before shedding this skin I say to you; I am sorry, please forgive me.


Gino Obuseng

Again: Salty waters

I willed myself, for an hour last night, to cry
It didn’t work
But I really tried
Voices in the hallway were the soundtrack to my sorrow, the echoes to my anguish
like the summoned nights of tears that ' A woman's Work' lead me thru, dont get it wrong
I’m not sad and nonfunctional but hurting so bad I willed myself unsuccessfully to cry.
This is not some depression, slit yr wrist kinda torment, this is a love affair with life’s truth that I swear most time seem to misplace in my masks, my lies
The sanity, which is my vision, within the craziness that is my awakening.

Last night I willed myself to cry for a friend so near but so far,
But again as I tried and tired. My souls hands reached around me for a hug, my mouth tasted salty water from my eyes and sighed with ecstasy. I fell asleep, peacefully dreaming of false realities, dreaming of pleasant horrors.

Last night I forgave myself for misunderstanding. And this morning I massage the pain in the middle of my back, and sing along to the sunrays reflecting and dancing off windows.


Gino Obuseng

AGAIN: where I left off

My tears keep coming, I stop them for what I might see, what I might reveal.
They stop mid eye like saving me from what I may not see.
This is the best statement I have come up with from months of absence, months of feelings of being tested.
This is what I have come up with from the months of joy, bliss, trials, mishaps, accidents, surprises and shifts of sorts in the alignment of my stars.

My body count of beings met that moved and inspired, has been overwhelming, the distance I have come with those that authorize my day-to-day learning of a dream I made come true is one of little or no boundaries. The captivating result of a question posed by a friend, friends with deep but limited knowledge of my soul, has pushed my dreams to a pedestal of possibility.

I am exposed to a world infinite with possibilities run by the relentless.

In all honesty he was the 1st; I ignored him and moved right along, minding my own business. And then you came dragging your feet. I understand my purpose -the reception goes off sometimes, unfamiliar to the burden of its fulfillment. I took it too far.
My mind stood present to where my soul usually does and should stand. I wrote to a deafened beat and somehow convinced myself you were hearing my inner song.

Like a student hungry for the power to teach, I didn’t see the process of healing I had instilled, ungrateful for the step taken, to the food that is soul soothing.
We seem to have misplaced the fact that we are on the same side.
Hurts in friendships come and go; we stay haunted by the same kind of pride.
I know I wasn’t always your friend, but never did my actions contradict truth.
I waited, I watched, I toyed and fantasized. I fooled with that idea, as an angel in training allow me that 1 mistake.

Injustice is for us all

I wonder does my constant now affect what is really meant for our fate.
As a part of the world give exception of my beauty that I revealed.
As a being like you eliminate the chances of perfection.
And as a friend grant me that chance to further experience you.
The notes you had in your head of the person I am are still and will always be true.


Gino Obuseng

soul sharing, documented... the 1st

I go home to her, that girl

That life force that has, and does sustain itself

By all means necessary

Creating a haven of mellow thoughts, sudden smiles constant dance.

Dreams of cotton candy & new toys.

The waves my life glides on are in sequence, a melody.

Slows and speediness at will, at reaction.

A perfect mixture of organised mess and selective memory,

My thoughts lay low, calm and slow.

I see her, that lady

That unmovable source of steadiness, street-wise, always aware.

Talking fast-encrypted trash, think fast, move slow.

Cold sweats called trauma, arise her, lullabies provided courtesy of karma.

The base in my heart, the notes of my toes.

Scribble this down first, add lip, and harmonize.

My heart will always remember, when my soul speaks, and my mind curls at the back of my neck.

I live with her, that woman.

Quick to stand tall, nose-diving in books, and if her pen be her weapon, her paper a shield, the eyes that read be the universe. A fountain of inspiration: never drying.

My mind searches & screams. Astounding curiosity. Massive hunger.

For pure and raw showers of the soul. Coz I know I must never wonder if I’m alone.

Fuelled & fed. Depth: my manger, my bed.

I stare at her, that sensual gaze so affirmative in what she wants, aware of her needs.

That symphony inspired touch, her body in unison as it chants.

Delicate wishes, lingering hugs, graced kisses.

He said my breathing became his heartbeat, the rise, and the fall.

A tainted friendship, never to be in complete mends. Backed-up, slowly, trying to exhale carefully on this here bend.

I play along with her, these games

The meek, sudden mirage of a search ended. A captivating challenge. The words to an exquisite beat. We go around in circles; lost in a maze we hold the map to.

I play along as a sweet smile of realization get her, she remembers how good it feels when her whole being tremors.

They would all stop. Disappear like a dream. Sudden strangers.

Listening on the phone as he treads light, he’s not alone when his voice changes.

Trust falls away, in the shadows of dust. I may not have known him, heard what I wanted to hear. I might have never seen him, screaming from a far, never near.

I play with her, these games of the mind. Silly, when she knows what she will find.

I nurse her, open wounds

Swim in her pool of hurts

She lays her head down, finally

Intoxicated when her mind grants permission.

She’ll wake up, hot, sweating, ears ringing as the beat goes on.

I speak with her, random words.

She listens. We probe at each other with questions

We never seem to get to answer.

I may not ever see, those from this word that have fled.

But she will always remember, the dreams they could have shared. Thoughts of forever. Not even the chance exists.

I sit here contemplating a hostile take over with time for its process to heal.

To take away those pains, troubles, enclosed understanding that u certainly feel.

Gambling quietly, dealing that emptiness and closure give you a break.

Gino Obuseng