NO WAKING UP, NO SLEEP...NO TITLE

I woke up one day to the sound of him leaving, and I asked him, what went wrong? He smiled as he brushed my cheek and started to tell me he had packed his bags a long time ago. That he sneaked back ‘coz, well, I was the only person who could heal the wound I had created and help get over me.

I woke up to him screaming, in the middle of the night. I held tight, he pushed me away and told me that he was tired of existence, that all he wanted was to live, he needed to be warm, his tomb had coldened my heart.

I woke up to the sound of him crying. I tried to tell him I didn’t need a river in his name. He explained they weren’t for me, but for him. He needed to leave a trail so that he’ll never get lost. That night 23 months ago was our last night.

I woke up to him loving me, as surprise excited me and ecstasy overwhelmed us, he stopped, confessed to me that, this, was not the best, that the rest of the times and the days, forever we would always be as one. A tear rolled down my face, and as a promise, that my tears would never be of fire but for him to taste my spirit, he swallowed it.

I woke up and his back was towards me.
I rolled towards him.
He whispered that I didn’t have to hold on so tight and that I’d forget one day to smile at him and tell him I cared.

I woke up to him kissing me; I embraced it and stole seconds of that bliss to take with me.

I woke up to his touch, and as a miracle where he laid his hands didn’t hurt anymore. And under all the bandages, my wounds were starting to scab. And the bleeding had stopped.

I woke up in his arms, surprised as to how I had gotten there, scared. He started to try and calm me down, told me he wouldn’t hurt me, he stole me, fought me and that I was free to go, run, but that he would be back the next day, morning and tonight. To find me.
I never hid and I don’t recall even trying to runaway.

I woke up several times without him there, and I couldn’t get out of bed.

I woke up yesterday to the sound of his voice, and that was just a dream.

I woke up once I didn’t remember much about our time or his smile.

I woke up today, got out of bed; I smiled as if I saw his reflection, laughed at our memories. Cried my heart out, I threw things, cussed and cursed, forgot and forgave, sung and swore, praised, pleaded and refused. But at least I woke up today, without him.
AND I AM WITHOUT HIM!