impressive, dear friend

The glitter, the records
The afros, the platforms, that we wore,
Performances, mic in hand, roars
Melody, in harmony, steps we took, stumbled upon
And tumbled down, we walked
My friend, its impressive how far we have come.
My inspiration is everywhere tangible or not
Vague or bold, moldable and brief,
Waters my eyes, almost uncomfortable. Silence.
The years have passed, we have grown
Dear friend, the impression I get of the world now has slightly shifted, the impression I see in your eyes, not pain, torture, but the toll in weight of the 10 or so sets of 24hours in the 365 days that have to pass with us, around us, at us and without some of us.
Oh my friend, I used to pray for miracles,
Used to pray to know how to pray,
Now I pray for consistence
For now, for change in same.
I pray for renewed faith, strength.
And if my prayers are exhausted, I’ll close my eyes, pray and wait for hope.
I will myself to cold, to feel no more
Willing t take a lose of all this capability of feeling so my heart wont have to take all its lost that I’ve grown to wear.
I ask you "friend", is it really temporary to you?
I appoint the people who hold positions in my life, near or far, distant or close.
I see you, closer than most, never where your soul wears your heart.
Maybe sometimes the problem is I just ‘see’ what you so feel, when I wish I were you juggling them, hand 2 hand, but all that for what?
If I don’t see you moved, entertained?
Coz you have your heart waiting for you at home.
All this for what? Not knowing the father of your baby…
That toes curling closeness for what?
That HI-VIRUS,
That yearning, pull to yourself in just this way,
The only way he can and wants to be with you.
Join them.
It is how I wanted it. How I took it and gave it.
Exactly the way my knees shook with need from the back.
My dear friend, maybe it’s our laughter that curse – of findings that confuse us these days or is it just me? Are we all meant to be friends?
As a friend I shouldn’t have laid up in your bed,
Shouldn’t have crossed that line or closed my eyes.As a friend I should tell you to calm down, treat your man with respect and your body with dignity.
As a friend I shouldn’t have lied to you, whispered behind your back and looked at your offspring with pity.
As a friend in need maybe we shouldnt have been friends, pretended, used so much energy in formalities. Or made up the rules as we went, triggered in bar brawls.
Could a friend have really done that to you?
Left you, tricked you, raped you and stole fro you?
Its impressive, dear friend how I call you a friend yet you stand undefined like no other, but dare I say you are the only one.
There are those, plenty, undefined even.
Different limits and boundaries, I call friends.
Dearest friends, impress me, for the immense trust I once gave to you has dissolved, gone. Like it was dreamt up.
I try to find it sometimes when we reminisce, feelings of nostalgia around us.
But that is all lost now. Distant.
Like those lost, stuck as memories in my soul forever.
Even those I can’t believe are gone.
Those I said goodbye to, those coffins, the body I came to know, that presented itself under the same roof, next door, you lay battered, bruised, broken on the side of the road.
Faith in the choice of friends, strength and belief you will always be ok, fine. Even as you lay now under, sleeping until the end of time. Just memory.
My friend, it matters to me not, the money you make, you don’t make. The jobs you lost and passed.
I care not for your procrastinations or awful habits life has acquired you. The insecurities, shadiness, lack of choices, clicking your high heels to manufactured options. We are exact opposites, 2 sides of the same coin, and 2 shades of the same color black.
They have the same lines, throw the same paper.
But you can ride shot gun, while I walk.
Rather do, and frequent fairy land on the occasion trip and buzz than fuss over that tainted lump of flesh hanging between their legs, brought in deception, screaming to penetrate my clarity.
My dear friend, I am tired, losing grip sometimes. The thoughts incoherent in my head. Your voice trails on, stuck as a record in the back of my mind,
But this is all for my benefit.
All for my world, for my eyes, for my impression.
A selfish act. Contagious to those impressive and dear friends.
IT’S NOT GOING AWAY!
In harmony, my friend, how far we’ve come.
Yours always, awakened. Impressed.
Your dear friend.



Gino Obuseng