Part I: Three Hundred and Sixty Fifth Day

Its surreal, i guess it is like the significant life’s impact or the moments that continue to search and define your strengths character. Its undeniable, I push, push things to the limit. Any limit, my limit, your limit – a limit. On the three hundred and sixty fifth day – a grand celebration of an anti-love that we had held on for more than we had to, the festivities were endless. With the closest of my friends and a job that came from a dream. Smiling and waving intoxicated separation, instance crawling towards the basic hours of the morning. Memory serves and admittedly i knew. The only way i would learn, lose or gain was to push. Hard. The impact of his hand on my cheek, definitely defined his character. Sad as it is, as it was – my character’s only way of letting go of a vice that was going to deplete me. Kill the very essence of everything that defines me. The self restraint that he possessed, whatever the amount at that moment broke. I myself couldn't, wouldn't say I was shocked, staring at the ceiling that we had laid under together, only difference of him mounting me this time was that all i could feel from all the past mixed bittersweet views, was myself choke. It took me a long time to write this, 22 months about to be almost exact. Unforeseen as it was at the time i was influenced by an almost instant insanity that allowed me to live in a dream-like state where i was comfortable, comfortable enough to entertain friends black & blue. Comfortable enough to smile and relay the story of our affiliation, not giving a fuck about my excessive make up cracking. Enough to point out the best side of my healing physical wounds of his masterpiece, to him. Comfortable enough to listen to my torment being retold through the airwaves as some hot piece of gossip. I was going to stand on a mountain and let them know. What your gutless spineless excuse of chap gave me as a shiny finish of a thank you for tending to you for three hundred and sixty five days. Nothing is worth much if it can be broken. Gino Obuseng