US! (conference IM)

laone: blindness overtakes me, darkness inavedes me. i am lost without my pen. without life
v.rant: my pen droping ink, leaving marks that heals.. what i write is what i feel
gino: what i remember, what i know. what takes over me what i dream.
laone : but i wonder if its real, is the dream the reality, or the reality a dream.
laone : is there sense in this, or anything else in the world. its all an illusion, but then again, wht isn't?
v.rant: the pain that overpowers me... my words are the reflection of the social ills i see..
v.rant: its the voice within
gino: my words play in both dream n reality. would it matter. and as i lay these bits down, i hope that the ills that have contaminated me are shed.
gino: i write for dear life
laone: i write for now, for tommorrow, for enterntiy. i right for this bleeding heart, this raptured soul
v.rant: i write for freedom..i write for me..i write to stop the hurt
gino: i write to document. i write to stop from screaming. letting what i write to sign on this contract of life what i have seen n felt
gino: i write to prevent the tears from drowning me.
laone: then to which i have clung so dearly nd kissed to lovingly. i write not in my selflessness, but completly drowned in my selfisness.
laone: to free myself, express myself. reddem myse;f
laone: redeem*
v.rant: sometimes the lil voices in my head are hard to get..its like they are speaking spanish............ thats why when i pen down my words down they sound gabbage
v.rant: i write to reedem my self... god only knws the pain i felt in my sleep i have yelled but my soul is still lost
gino: i write as i fall to the ground, foreginly on my knees hoping it a prayer. i write so that when my heart reaquaints itslef with my past i have an army. i write in the dark. i write the stories of this scar
laone: tht burns my face. its clear in the dark, for even then it burns my soul. this scar of wounds long healed, of a war long ended, time long gone
v.rant: hope long lost..by far my existance have only been a budden my voice has not been clear..it has been embeded... my path bended yet again again i leave footprints cloured in red in this life i am as good as dead
gino: i fight life in this world that lives me, i can hear the cries, blow in the wind. these footprints will fade, erode as everything does in form, leaving me lost, empty in pain
laone: yet i must prevail, i must tredge on. i must...if only to fail, still i must
laone: i will drag my crimson feet, my blood stained hands. i'll hold in this once beautiful hands those dreams tht still live inside this broken excuse for a bosy
laone: i must prevail, i must tredge on. i must...if only to fail, still i must
v.rant: still yet...trouble cnt leave me alone...day in n day out my strength is fading
v.rant: i am a lost hope indeed
gino: i sit and watch, weak and weakening. hoping that i dont waste away as the pain does, as the clock ticks on.
laone : the war rages on. if not on the field, then in this head, where all remains vivid, even though the body is frail
laone: nd wht was left of the trail, has long been carried by the currents

a_death has joined the conference.

v.rant: my english teacher once gave men a pen and a paper..... 3 days later i peened my 1st words and i could not feel any beter...and now its my pill....i write to stop the chills.. i write to gain strenght... i write for fresh breath
group.
a_death: ah the soul bleeds fresh inl up these fields
a_death: ink*
a_death: ah the soul bleeds fresh ink upon these fields
a_death: *typo queen*
gino: not only does it free me, it invades me, control me. i need no appaulse n praises. i write to prevent, i write for evidence i write to warn.
laone: write to be free, so tht i n these words, on these pages i may take flight. tht i may hide. tht i may flee
a_death: to warn who do you wirte? pretty ink has rarly moved stubborn heart
a_death: s
v.rant: yes indeed...i write to let loose the tension in me... to take out the rage within
a_death: to what purpose? to what end? the rage and fire, the eternal burning of a soul too tormented my thoughts, when expressed are nothing more than screems in a thunderstorm...not an ear is turned
a_death: and not a heart is moved
a_death: i am alone in my torment
a_death: watching the world through dull glass
gino: this book that i carry with me, my eyes being just 'in between all lines, i do not have the key to the lock. this book that i praise has all my pains, my thoughts. me alone. this book i follow, this book i hide. this book of my death, it is my refuge, my lair, my shrine, my friend
v.rant: life moving very slow..yet the sorow invades me very fast.... i am dead but i can heart my heart beat... just then thats when i open this book within..... for the whole world to read
laone: my confidate, it is also my enemy. for i read back nd i see hw it has refused to forget tht which i tried so hrd to erase. it has clung to it, it has held it still, as if to treasure tht pain from which i ran
a_death: and read they do, from page to page, yet in minds clouded by the here and now they do not grasp the truth, and in silence i see thier confusion
gino: i need no sympathy. i need no help now. i was alone pulling on that 1 page, hoping to erase it.burn it from my mind
laone: nd yet there it is. sme place it was before
laone: did i not shred it to bits, burn it and scatter the ashes, or was it all in my head
gino: marked with the same tears
a_death: a book is a cold bedfellow when the world's sharp teeth claw at the fagile bits of tender flesh in the mind. A cold bedfellow indeed
v.rant: my heart is heavy leden... its like whole world is hanging on me
a_death: my heart is long gone sacrificed to a deamon that promised me nothing, and nothing is what i recived and this cold cavety with in me throbs for the feelings that i no longer have.
gino: but i think, when was a drug, a possession a mild confusion of rage to have to.....re write my name, my heart's progression been warm?
gino: i only have this book, this pad, this pen...
laone: all it was, all it ever will be is a mild escape, a cold freezing of the mind and all it power
v.rant: if only people can see the world within my eyes.... and see the lies it hides.. the pain insides
laone: but this book, it strengthens me, it nourtures me, it quenches bfre i thirst
gino: im afraid no one will see, im small inside. wasting away
a_death: Truth changes nothing, pain is a fact of life, should a heart crippled by pain halt in beat? nay, a poet cannot change the world, pain cannot change the world
a_death: only death can
v.rant: so thats why i let my pain out through my pen...so it could be felt... hope is it can alter the world..b4 we all fade
gino: i live, love and write. i become nothing, say nothing, ieel everything. no one can save me from my life
a_death: once again...this book, this chared, bloody, broken book, can no more change the world than a rose bud, observed for its beauty, for its throns...but nothing more, nothing more after that
laone : no one, nd none understands teh gravity of this pain, the weight of such a measure. no one, but this book
gino: it can only ever change me, darkening the rings around my eyes, shrugging my shoulders
gino: they all just see the reaction and not the pain
a_death: this poetry, this book that you claim, is no more than a deaf singer in the cornerstone of an empty street, belting out songs in a language that no one hears and a pitch that cannot exist in reality.Reality is the ultimate end of this book....its resting place
a_death: life is the death of art
laone: if ever i neededrefuge i have sought nd found it in this book.throu it i hv wept, i hv sung, i hv lied nd now i weep
laone: at the loss of this book, to think it dead, when it , nd only it evr b mine companion
gino: hoping to one night sleep, but only n if this pen rests
v.rant: atlist the book is my only solace.... the friend i always needed
a_death: i had a book once, a large book, leather in skin and gold edged, my soul, my heart my full pain filled it to the bim, open its cover and bitter, bitter brew spills out. In a fit of madness i shared it with one, and in disregard it was thrown away, like rubbish on the streat. I have never touched it again, and i doubt i ever will. writing it was a pain that was tinged with pleasure, losing it was madness
laone: nd yet bcoz of those wretched pages, it is alo my enemy
a_death: i fear this book
gino: this book could lessen the headache, stop that 1 fight, mould HIm to life, create that job and write that letter. this book could clone me.
laone : i loathe thsi book
gino: against my will i would stand in front of a mirror, reflecting this reflection
laone: for i change, nd i groww, nd i learnt to forgive ng forget. but it holds fast to those truths i'ld rather ignore
laone: the ones i'ld rather call lies
gino: these truth i hold in my hands. those whispered promises u see through my eyes
a_death: the truths that have made me what i am today
a_death: but are tempted still to shatter me to dust in the wind
laone: this book. its pages are crimsom in my hands, it bleeds onto me. though it be white, i see blood on its pages
gino: this book i hold is cold, old..falling apart, used
v.rant: it is my past and my present..
a_death: it is my damnation
gino: my death and my fall
a_death: my love and rise
v.rant: my struggle and my victories
gino: cure and my will
laone: my praise
a_death: my shame
gino: my pride
laone: my doubts
v.rant: my pain
a_death: my end
gino the questions, and the answers to my calls
a_death: the song that deffens me to the world
gino: the beat that wakes me from my sleep
laone : my beginnin. a voice i nver had, but wth wch i spoke evr so eloquently
v.rant: the needle that pirces me
a_death: the shackle that holds me
laone: the thred tht binds thris broken soul;
gino: the prison of my walls and the crime
a_death: the line between me and the world
a_death: lies in this book
v.rant: the line between love and hate
gino: on top of me, beneath me, around me..shielding me, pulling me, dragging me and throwing me
laone yet it thretens to brek
a_death: yet it never does
a_death: at times i wish it would
laone: to lead me out there
gino: i jumped thru a crack i found once
laone: to the world i fear so musch, though i hrldy knw
v.rant: i stpo and stare...and wish i am not there
laone: nd there i found bliss, jus for a moment i did
a_death: only to lead to more pain
gino: i fell thru, that light ahead, always ahead
gino: surrounded by all the seasons and climate sthat passed over my fields
gino: it wasnt any different out there
gino: i pain on.
gino: as i pen on
v.rant: you knw when they say there is a lite @ the end of the turnnel well my tunnel seems endless
laone: but the sun was more harsh
a_death: one touch, one touch is all i need...just one moment it time, where i lie in arms that could never lie. just to end this pain...one moment is all i need.
laone : it burnt my skin, and scorched my throt.
laone : but it cld nvr touch my pen
laone vanvuuren: not this one tht holds my voice in its blood. NEVER!
gino999: i lay on my back, my world up side down, standing on that 1 star i made a wish on so long ago.
a_death: hearing voices of loved ones long dead
gino: i rememebr, i rememeber everything
gino: i see you all..diluting the salt in the water of eyes.
laone: i remmebr it so clearly, i almost cld swear