The lights dimmed and smoke rose from that cold emptiness, that head throb,
I woke up hung-over, but the scabs and bruises lead me to believe I had slept through the worst.
After trying to drink you outta my system.
Limped outta bed to get some green, finding pains in the shower as I lift to reach for my lighter.
I remember the sweat; I smell it in the clothes I wore.
I remember feeling free, in rhythm trying to make my steps be my hearts control and lead.
Exhausted! Trying to dance you outta my system.
I jumped outta my body into my thoughts, dreams and fantasies of you.
Led me to forget why I closed and chained the door behind me.
My paranoia is slipping away.
I walk all night blazed, in a maze, the walls lined up back to back with pictures of you, burning just the hairs on my skin.
As I try to smoke you outta my system.
I waited until atleast the sun was up, until lights were switched off, and I heard footsteps, drunken with sleep.
Spring cleaning my room was to organize my thoughts, get them in me, sorted, your initials the file name.
The volume was to try and drown out the ice breaking, my heart beat irregularly as I tried to sing you outta my system.
Moments and letters stretch long, high, around, entangling me in this brief disillusionment.
I’m boiling inside taken over by this possession.
I could produce the best pieces from this heartache but I’m scared it may numb me.
Like all those nights placing my hand on your pure coffee bean back, mixing in my milk, when I couldn’t keep the tips of my fingers off you.
While I fight me off, you away
And my fingers still writing you outta my system.
Gino Obuseng
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